The 10 craziest celebrity baby names.

I was talking to my sister today about the usual stuff – you know, what we’re doing for 4^th of July weekend, exchanging vacation photos, Bruce Jenner sex change rumors, and other completely normal things like that.  Of course with Hollywood’s Degrees of Separation game rewritten with the name ‘Kardashian’ instead of Kevin Bacon these days, we got to chatting about Kanye and Kim’s daughter, North.  As in North West.  So it got me to thinking of other celebrities who give their children bizarre and whacky names, as if to say “I don’t get enough attention as a SUPER star so let me name my child something outlandish to squeeze out that last ounce of media hype,” thereby cursing the child for the length of their existence on earth as a casualty of that narcissistic war.

Here are 10 names that only a rich, famous superstar (on drugs) would give their child.

1. Coco

Courtney Cox and David Arquette basically named their child after a monkey. 

2. Kal-El

Nicolas Cage named his child Kal-El after Superman.  Cage is such a big comic book fan that he changed his own last name from Coppala to Cage in honor of Marvel character, Luke Cage. 

3. Destry

Steven Spielberg named his daughter Destry, though speculation is that he was only trying to protect her from the paparazzi.  How so?  Try Googling Destry without having to retype it 7 times because the search engine thinks you really want to research, “Destiny” or “Destroy.”

4. Fifi Trixibelle

I’m not making this up.  But in their defense, Bog Geldof and Paula Yates named their daughter Fifi after his aunt.  But Trixibelle?  They destined the poor girl to be a figure skater or porn star later in life.

5. Jermajesty

It's a fact of the world we live in that Jermain Jackson named his child, Jermajesty.  Are you sure he wasn't just trying to say, "Her Majesty," with a fat lip and a lisp?  

6. Moxy Crimefighter

Famed Vegas magician, Penn Jillette, cursed his child with the lovely (horrible) name Moxy, but decided to go the extra mile in soon-to-be-paternal-hatred with the middle name, Crimefighter.

7. Prince Michael and Prince Michael II, aka Blanket

Of course we don’t expect Michael Jackson the King of Weird (and Pop) to name his kids Bob and Ruth, but he went down a strange path, even for him.  His first son was named Prince Michael Jackson.  Ok, we’ve digested that.  Next up is Prince Michael Jackson II.  Huh?  That’s a George Foreman-esque naming!  Just so we can differentiate them, MJ elder nicknamed the II, “Blanket.”  So he has a kid who is called Blanket.  I suggest private school.  Very private.  

8. Tu Morrow

Rob Murrow, star of the popular TV show, Number3rs, even shocked the normally un-shockable celebrity world when he named his baby Tu.  What a dick.

9. Pilot Inspektor

Jason Lee, star of My Name is Earl, named his kid Pilot Inspektor after a song by the band Graddaddy.  He could have just name him Pilot and left it at that, but somehow Inspektor (with a K, not a C, dammit!) was deemed necessary. That’s just plain cruel.  You suck, JASON!

10. Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin

Ummmmm….Frank Zappa must have been on some serious drugs when he named two of his children Moon Unit, and then Diva Thin Muffin.  In comparison, his other two kids, Dweezil and Ahmet, have super conservative names - probably born while he was in rehab.

Here are some of the crazy celebrity names I actually like:

Ocean Whitaker (Forest Whitaker)

Rocket Rodriguez (Robert Rodriguez)

Maddox (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt)

Memphis (Bono)